God has been teaching me a lot on how to love unconditionally lately. Last week was a difficult week for both me and my fiance. After spending a wonderful and awesome week with him, we had to face the reality of being separated again. When he was back in the States, of course he still had to work and then he was also doing extra works and on top of that working out in the gym. He is learning to be very responsible in handling his finances and his health which I believe is very wise for him to do. As much as possible, I do my best to really bless him but I seem to not get back I want from him or I think so.
I began to check my motives on why I do those things that bless him. I realized that I have been doing those because I am desperate for appreciation. Not just from him but from all people in general I guess. I guess I am loosing self confidence and I need to make sure that yes, people still like me and they will tell me they like me if I do things for them. My fiance is an easy prey. LOL. But with all the things he is also going through, he was not able to meet my very high standards in terms of appreciation. I started listening to the lies that what I am doing is not enough and will never be enough. That I am already giving my best to love and bless him but he seems to just not give the credit to what I am doing or he gives credit but it seems to be not enough for me.
Now I am not saying that my fiance doesn't know how to appreciate. He appreciates the things I do but because it was tough not being able to spend so much time with him now because of the extra responsibilities, I was missing him, I was hurting and I feel like we need to spend more time and then I began to question his level of appreciation. He appreciates me but it was never enough for me. It was getting hard and so before it gets out of control, we had to stop and pray about it.
Then I began to see something positive from all that is happening. God turned the situation to a different direction and used it as a learning experience for me. I was reminded of His love in His word.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
God's love for us is so great that no one can separate us from it. His love for us is unconditional that He gave the life of his beloved son for us even when we are sinners. I was like, WOW! God loved me unconditionally. Can I not do that? His word said that I should imitate Him. It is gonna be hard but I will learn how to love people unconditionally and bless them not because I want something in return but because I want to imitate my Father. If He can do it, I can too because I am created in His image.
To finish this long post, I would like to share the Daily Devotional of the Joyce Meyer Ministries about the comparison of God's unconditional love and that of men.
"To fully understand all the different facets of love, we must talk about the two kinds of love: the God-kind of love and man’s love. Man’s love fails, gives up; but God’s love does not. Man’s love is finite, comes to an end; but God’s love is infinite and eternal. Man’s love is dependent on favorable behavior and circumstances; God’s love is now. People place conditions on their love, but God’s love is unconditional."
I know I am not perfect but with God's guidance, I will continue and try to be the woman that He wants me to be. I may commit mistakes again in the future but I will not give up. I will continue to learn how to love unconditionally. No ifs and buts. It will be tough but its doable.
Right? :) ♥